I've made my decision

Our visit with the oncologist went well yesterday.  There really are few options for me.  We talked everything over again and I made clear that I was unhappy on the chemo.  The more we talked the more it became clear to me that all of the treatment options are ways to delay or avoid amputation.  Nothing is a solution for my tumor but amputation.  So I am choosing amputation and my DR agrees.

Mom offered the minority report.  She wanted to slow things down and try a lower dose of the chemo.  She wants to buy more time.  But I pointed out that it would not be good time.  Time on chemo is sick time, not good time.  I don't want anymore sick time.  I don't want to stretch any of this out.

So, we have a date in mid October.  There is an appointment in a few weeks with my surgeon to talk process and with the prosthetist to talk prosthetic options.  I am awaiting a psychology appointment as well, since this isn't just about my body it is also about my mind.

Amputation in the abstract and amputation actually on the calendar are two very different things.  I'll have more to say later.  In the meantime, we have left the cone of uncertainty.  We have a plan.